Fusion-Coaching

THE BLOG IS BACK - For the next while I'm going to focus on what I do - coaching.  I'm currently in majorca on a pre camp camp with Graham Leitch. The posts below are designed to give an insight as to my life as a coach and the stuff I do with athletes!!

FUSION CAMP DAY 12:

Big day today - long riding with climbing.  Graham was out early to get his run in from yesterday then back for refuelling prior to ride - something along the lines of 1 mega bowl of porridge with honey, 4 pieces of toast, 12 inches of baguette with jam, an entemada (yum),  tea, berrocca and then some extra cereal - gotta fuel the engine!!!

My guts were not happy at being force fed today after yesterday - sometimes breakfast for me is unpleasant.

Out on the road was pleasing though, young Hamish riding so much stronger, Elizabeth 2.5 mins faster up the first 25 min climb of the day then showing amazing learning on the fast technical section.  I could tell I hadn't ridden yesterday - fresh legs but concern about fuel status with digestive system stuttering - start easy was my message.

Sa Calobra looked incredible with some low cloud swirling over the slopes.  Careful descent as there were a few silly cars about (not getting out the way when bikes are blatantly quicker).  Young Hamish dropped his bottle which reinforced the need for technical work.  Slightly staggered start up the climb - slower riders first.  superb efforts all round with Hamish proving he does have an engine, Graham making it look far too easy, Mr McGinlay controlled and assured as ever, elizabeth showing why she was so good at world adventure racing champs (hard as nails) and the fusion coach riding up with Mr Lindsay in the 23 sprocket "just because". I got up in 40:42 - 4 mins quicker than 6 days ago - happy boy.

Total ride time between 5-6hrs and some ironman pace controlled running afterwards for those it applies to. I kept graham company for the last couple of hrs and managed much work with him and only a few wheel sucks to eat and drink / recover a bit.  http://connect.garmin.com/activity/27970614

FUSION CAMP DAY 11:

Another early am swim session, repeating yesterday's messages but after an easier day yesterday rolling through some good solid work - faster more accomplished swimmers getting through 4+k and all athletes swimming decent volume and intensity.

Solid medium bike (4hrs) for most with periods of structured quality within (I love the way majorca or aguilas in spain allows this to be done). plus some running off the bike.  Some folk already stepping forwards on the bike with big improvements - the effect of appropriate load on increasing plasma volume, fuel storage, efficiency, relaxation etc.  Never forget it's an endurance sport and the miles must be put in.  the more structued the miles the better!!

Coach was also grumpy - upset guts.  For a while very upset!!  So no ride for me as would have been stupid and the vegetation of majorca doesn't deserve that!!!!

First grump from Graham today - bike power 1 watt lower than week before.  I notice loads of behavioural stuff so needed to point out a few things, keep the nutriton going in, reinforce the requirement to smile and roll with things and not obsess over numbers all the time.  http://connect.garmin.com/activity/27821043 Run session was postponed - no point digging innappropriate holes when the fuel tank is literally empty.  Just pop it in tomorrow morning instead!!

FUSION CAMP DAY 10:

After last nights video analysis session it was early am swim with a focus on technical development - running loads of mini sessions takes some planning but we have individual athletes who have individual needs and goals - the result was some mega improvements. The more I coach the more  realise that my skills are based around communication and creating the right atmosphere - relaxed, informed and motivated participants is easy in theory.

Recovery bike ride for most folk - bit breezy out there today but nothing compared to scotland or lanzarote!!

Graham leitch rolled through a longer recovery ride (longer than programmed - grrrrr).  But low power - 185 watts, well below aerobic threshold so as long as fuelled properly good for recovery http://connect.garmin.com/activity/27743010  

FUSION CAMP DAY 9:

First not so hot weather day - just 17 degrees and some rain kicking about. Moods a bit lower as a result and it was reluctant athletes rolling out for 5 hr rides today.  When it rains here the roads get pretty slick so roundabouts and technical stuff need to be taken carefully.  Graham leitch banged out another 5 hr ride at average 250w - this place is magic for that sort of work. http://connect.garmin.com/activity/27627365 then a 70 min run to break 40 hrs monday - sunday.

Other folk knocking out a 6.5hr+ day.  Good to see.

I rode with a great group, 3 punctures early in ride but spirits high once we were up and rolling, a small (25k) navigation detour and headwind picking up made it look like it would be a 6hr+ ride at one point but ended up just 5hrs 15 and 93 miles.  I had good legs and spent a lot of time on the front. Needed to refuel after 3 hrs and took the chocolate option due to lack of much else and the legs got better!!  Nice to be able to look at others nutrition and start forming good habits for them.

Only downside is my ass!!!  Over 23 hrs is a lot for me on a saddle these days and I am sore.  May not ride tomorrow!!  Highlights of today were alan's foaming shorts!!!, Damien the German mountain biker who hung with us for hours and swim video analysis this evenng - some good imporements.

FUSION CAMP DAY 8:

Relaxed later start today = 2 breakfast opportunities which I like. Swim session in the lovely pool including video filming and increasing one athletes DPS by 15-20%.  Good to see technical work with others cementing.

Then ride 3.5 hrs. One proper climb, cracking descent, steady flat riding including some 40kmh stretches (Mr McG storming strong, Elizabeth solid all day). See today's vid 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hvKV8Tc4z8 

And Graham's ride file http://connect.garmin.com/activity/27503993

Scales say I have lost weight (ran well yesterday so probably true!!) - It's the main camp goal for me as it's a key performance limiter and easy to control with will power and the current environment.  Simple policy 1000kcal / day negative energy balance achieved through careful healthy calorie consumption matched (-1000kcal) to training energy requirement - another benefit of the toys.  Just need to know the real numbers that your burning - cos garmin numbers are crap. That physiology degree helps a lot sometimes.

FUSION CAMP DAY 7:

First squad of athletes arrived today - mixed abilities, goals and expectations for the camp and a great attitude to doing some wok and having a laugh - as it should be - not just a generic smackfest for a few days followed by sun loungers, coffee, cakes and cocktails all round. Poor alan missed out on training du to picking u the wrong bag at airport - oops!!

Graham L has done 39 hrs in 7 days (we binned a session today to ensure recovery). Training like a pro.  Why??cos he's decided to challenge himself and see what he can do with some proper hard work for a period of time.  Pleasure to work with him and Graeme Stewart.  Both came late to triathlon - many would say far too late but these folk are shining examples of where motivation, commitment drive and belief can take you.  There is no talk without the walk.

We do not have to commit to what these folk do, we all have our own circumstances and I'm also proud of the full time mothers banging out a few hrs a week to get better in their circumstances, and the working professionals pushing out a new challenge, and the others who use training as a release from immense pressure in areas of their lives.  But we should look at these folks (and the brownlee's and chrissie wellingtons etc.)  I've spent a lot of time listening to "can't, it's too hard, I'm not good enough, no time, no money" type chat and it's abbundantly clear that belief is the primary determining factor.  Instilling belief is one of the best things I can do and a huge challenge every day. We are none of us mere mortals who can achieve more than most of us imagine or dream.

GET OUT THERE AND WALK THE WALK.

Today's recovery ride: http://connect.garmin.com/activity/27430206

FUSION CAMP DAY 6:

Recovery day for me, hard day for Graham. Was tired and eavy in the pool this morning but the engine woke up after 12-1500m. Got 1200m done that I was happy with then was running low on energy so backed down.  No digging holes. Allowed me to coach 1-2-1 with Graham and the boy is looking good, improved front end streamline and core stability is the next step.

Graham headed out for 4 hrs steady state aerobic riding - check out these numbers!!  http://connect.garmin.com/activity/27328368

I rode 2 hrs easy with a new camp arrival - had some great fun on a descent though the tunnel was interesting - point and shoot!! This video is why you should be here!!  

The troops arrive tomorrow - I'm ready to go.

A few thoughts so far:

1. Graham Leitch is a man on the move - a fabulous example of committed hard work and quality controlled, monitored, progressed training. If you know my training he's knocking out 5000 units this week and getting better every day.  At this weeks rate he's riding 28300 miles per year!!!!  Not for everyone but this guy soaks it up.

2. Getting out early is the best way to run camps, sort things out, get some work done myself etc.

3. Fitness is a curious thing - so many factors, flat vs hilly, small vs large, power to weight, power to drag, pace control, training load, technical skills, functional ability, nutritional requirements etc. etc. Putting everything together is an art that we guide with scientific principles, personal skills and experience. I've enjoyed this week and it reminds me that I'm pretty good at this coaching lark.

4. Happy athletes are fast athletes! There has been great banter in the flat - Simbad's restaurant is keeping us on the go also.

 5. Toys - the flat here now has 4 laptops, 2 video cameras, 2 ipod's, 2 powertaps, 5 garmins!  I don't live and die by data but numbers are so useful. We do stuff off feel and teach people how to control effort and use numbers to monitor progress.  It's also bloody useful so that the next time daft folk go accusing me of overtraining (unexplained underperformance syndrome) I will prove they have no idea what they are talking about!!

6. Nutrition - So neglected, so misunderstood. Whatever our level there are so many simple things we should be doing to get the best out of training.  anyone who doesn't understand this should do the day 5 ride and learn some lessons.  Looking forwards to having the support of a top sports nutritionist here in 8 days time.

7. I have lost 1.5kg - I think!!!!!

FUSION CAMP DAY 5:

Closing in on 25% of the camp done. Graham has knocked out ~27 hrs already in 5 days - no junk, all structured with specific goals. 3 hrs 30 running, 2 hrs swimming and 21hrs on bike.  100hrs in 3 weeks, crazy some might say but whatever works for the individual and I'll let the race results answer any critics.  All done with sense of humour.  Good banter in the flat last few days.

7hr training day for Graham - 60 min run with 30 mins as 30 secs fast,90 secs 4 min/k pace first thing then a 6 hr ride with steady state work (230-240 watts), descending practice and threshold work up a couple of proper big, stunning climbs. Just 5hrs ride for me - same as graham but shorter route home. I got humped for 10 mins up the 10km 7% 700m sa calobra epic climb.  Took me 44 mins 39 secs. 10 yrs ago was 37 mins I think - I'm 7kg heavier and in the famous words of Scotty - you cannae deny the laws of physics captain!! At least good skills got me down 1.5 mins faster!!  http://connect.garmin.com/activity/27249596

Video is her:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZEJuCj6Bu8

FUSION CAMP DAY 4:

As quickly as possible cos busy.  Recovery day for graham (5hrs!), solid day for JD.

3.5k pre breakfast swim, mixed aerobic stength edurance and broken race pace set.  flat 4hr ride - recovery 190 watts for Graham on TT bike = solid steady 200+ watts for me on road bike.  Feeling stronger and more comfortableon bike.  20 degrees and sunshine helps. http://connect.garmin.com/activity/27161084.  Road bike is so much harder than TT bike on flat and downhills.  despite weighing exactly the same on the flats / downhills my HR is 10+ bpm higher than climbing when riding same speed as graham - he gets a lot more MPH for his watts when the speed is higher.  The importance of aerodynamics!!

Good nutrition day. Staying on top of stuff back home is super tough. Missing some stuff back home - the lovely lady and junior in particular and the banter at club sessions. 3 weeks away is tough.

FUSION CAMP DAY 3:

Hopefully quicker blog today as busy with programme writing for folk back home - did a video blog too if I find time to upload. Just an early swim for me wih Graham - 3.2km in an hour with 2k on a 1:40 cycle swimming 1:18 /100. Graham making progress - increased strength after extensive paddles work.

BIG day for Graham - 7 hrs - 1hr swim, 5hr steady state aerobic development ride bike at 234 watts (very solid!) http://connect.garmin.com/activity/27072716 then a 1 hr run at 4:00/4:10km pace after a break.  The boy is fit and strong, handling training well and looking good for 2010.  Bit of a camel though - lost 3.5kg on ride - not drinking enough so official yellow card administered!! 

DAY 3 Video blog: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDifFU3-NW8

FUSION CAMP DAY 2:

Morning attempt at open water swim - just to cold to be worthwhile.  hopefully better after a week of better weather. Warmer today but still 3/4's arm warmers and gillet on the bike, snow beside the road at top of climb today. Full windproof jacket on big descent as was a bit cold.  

Building day for Graham Leitch today 3:30 bike at average 228watts including periods of no watts descending.  Importantly main set of 3 x 10 mins threshold at 310, 314 + 314 watts.  Then some descendng practice followed by 2hrs sustained aerobic development riding, lots of time in aero position.  20 min tempo run off the bike.  Improved handling and gear use today. Still not consuming enough fluid though so a major mission tomorrow which is a 7hr day for him.  http://connect.garmin.com/activity/26960927

The coach just did 3 hrs, 1hr upper aerobic up the 20km climb.  Could feel yesterdays session - indicator of how poor overall fitness is!!  Badly need nutrition on bike - if I go without I crack real easy so need to maintain steady intake if 40grams carbohydrate per hour.

Lots of stretching and use of foam roller tonight after a banter filled dinner.  Aside that it's programme review and power file day - just downloaded and working my way through 50 files.  Always amazed by the variety of feedback that I recieve - some one worders and others war and peace!!  Been a good month - good training completion figures and some excellent progress from clients.

Foods of the day were porridge, toast and jam (lots and lots), scrammbled eggs on toast.

FUSION CAMP DAY 1:

4:30 am start, 7 hrs travel, hassle free!!  Lunch, bike build, 2hr 15 ride with 3 x 5 mins solid / threshold to switch systems on then run off the bike - 45 mins me, 70 mins graham with some km reps faster.

Stats: Ride 204w average, 69km, 3x5 mins 272,271,283watts G's file http://connect.garmin.com/player/26891917

         Run - 45 mins with 3 x 1km in 3:45 in middle, G did 5 at 3:20/km

Notes: This was a switch on day for Graham - he is finishing recoevry week so with travel etc. not pushing on.  He's far better than me so it was a solid day for me!!

John's Notes: I have some personal nutrition and training goals for a change - need to lose a few kg and progress fitness that has slid the past 5 years.  Nutrition was tough with travel and sub optimal planning - but stuck to plan - 1litre of 5-6% High5 on bike, 500mls after the session with 200mls chocolate milk, 2 slices toast and jam and 4 jaffa cakes after ride for optimal recovery.  Avoided heavy calorie / carbohydrate for dinner so a good day - goal tomorrow is front load food - eat before training not after!

G's Notes: His bike machanics ineptitude is staggering.  Need to work on holding straight line on bike + shifting on aero bars / when climbing on TT bike.  not enough fluid during bike.  Good power application though and strong riding.  Very solid pace when running for low effort - 3:20km pace is getting to be pretty solid.  Need to video run though - noticed some things in leg recovery / toe off - drill time coming.  Goal tomorrow is best nutrition, smart delivery of watts for intervals on moderate bike and skills for open water swim development.

24th July - I'm liking July 2009

Another long gap since posting a blog.  Essentially  because I've been pretty busy. I've had to move flat which is a busy, stressful and pain in the ass thing to do!! June / July was very busy with my clients racing - lots of Ironmenn and women out there.  A slight mixed bag of results with some simply stunning results and a few disappointments.  that's the nature of ironman I guess - a long road in preparation and much that can go wrong on the day.  At least we have reasons for the diappointments and the individuals are already up and pushing on with their next goals - I like that attitude.  It's a reminder to me that my work is never done and we learn every day.

The club is quite simply so good just now.  Back in October I started with a little vision and it appears to be snowballing fast!!  We're easily the fastest growing club in Scotland and seem to be doing a good job of covering loads of bases.  Training is growing and swimming is packed (which is good given how much quieter summers often are with holidays etc.).  I've applied for an increase in pool time / space so fingers crossed.  Junior sessions starting to grow and take off, this is a large area to grow other the next 12 months.  Socially we are active with a wonderful bbq with over 40 people attending, regular groups socialising together and plans for end of season stuff in the offing.  We've been doing well on the racing front - champions and victories in scotland and europe, plus novices stepping up to the mark in their first races, first open waer races etc.  All ages and all abilities - that's what I really like.  The hugest thanks to the very good people who put so much of their personal time and effort into driving things forwards.  All clubs and sports are reliant on volunteers and what we've done well so far is recruit and retain not just good enthusiastic volunteers but people with the right skillsets to deliver roles effectively.  The lanark section is growing apace also with a big cohort of enthusiastic old timers, racers and new folk all pushing on. I'm never satisfied though so we need to keep it rolling - bigger and better is where we are going.

At the club BBQ I took 5 mins to sit and reflect - the club is a bit of a baby for me - something to throw myself at wholeheartedly with pasiion and my skills.  The progress gives me confidence in my abilities and a sense of satisfaction.  I smiled a lot that day.

Personally I've been up and down as usual - those who know will understand that depression always has peaks and troughs.  I've reflected a lot and realised that much of the time the good hings in my life are drowned out by the negatives and events that have gone sour / from the past in my personl life.  Very important for us all to try and remember the good times, the things we are good at and the help we provide for others.  Also very important to recognise the triggers that send us into troughs.  I recently realised that I no longer like pizza much cos it's a trigger - a very sad day!!  I've taken some positive steps to move my personal mental health problems forwards.  A couple of old chapters have been closed as best possible.  I've worked with the people close to me and feel like I'm making some good progress currently. I guess peaks and troughs are fine as long as the average point keeps heading in a positive direction.  Writing this I'm pretty upbeat about the next 12 months / future.  I know quite a few people follow this blog and I get plenty of questions about my depression and folk seeking advice themselves.  It's an individual thing but the general message must always be:

NEVER FORGET WHAT YOUR GOOD AT - BE PROUD OF IT.

KEEP GOOD PEOPLE AROUND YOU.

ADDRESS ISSUES WHEN YOU ARE READY TO.

Those good people around me know who they are and words cannot describe how grateful I am to them.  

1st June - Oops, long overdue!!

It's been over 8 weeks since I posted a blog.  To be honest I've not felt like posting - a web blog is a very public thing and at times I don't feel like having my thoughts available / scrutinised.  However I've also had a lot of contact and very positive feedback from many people through email and personal contact at work / attending races etc. who've stated their appreciation for my honesty and confronting my problems and asking that I keep the blog going. Saturday just past I had the biggest wobble I've had since august last year and one amazing, lovely, person made me think better and turn things aound faster than ever before so I feel obliged to write. This will probably therefore be a long post to catch up.

My recent postings have let people know that I've been struggling with my head and the last 2 months have been an effort to say the least. 

Everyone has a limit to their energies and recently i've been stretched in lots of directions:- I have to find somewhere new to live. I've started psychotherapy to explore and hopefully address a variety of exceedingly personal things. I'm trying to make a new business work and am struggling with a sceptical, recession hit society. It's also almost the first anniversary of what can only be described as a farce.

These things are stressful for sure and I know that my levels of energy and motivation struggle to cover all the bases.  The biggest concern is actually that I'm acutely aware that my desire to give my time and effort freely as I did in the past to help others is hugely dminished. That's a bad thing. 

As is life There is good stuff: The athletes / club members who buy into the fusion way of doing things continue to excel - across the board people are moving forwards - usually in huge leaps.  Fusion Triathlon Club is the fastest growing club in the country - by a huge margin and we've only just started (loads more stuff coming soon).  I continue to have the support of amazing friends who understand who I am and support both what I am trying to do and that I struggle with my head.  These things are the reason I can get out of bed - which is sometimes a struggle.

There is also regrettably bad stuff: maybe I shouldn't care, maybe I should stand up and defend my principles and beliefs?  It's nearly a year since some bad stuff - I trusted some people, shared very private personal things with them and was promised support and confidentiality.  Doesn't take a rocket scientist to know what happened next!!  I'm pretty convinced it was just ignorance rather than malicious intent but it's really affected my health / well being and is frankly unacceptable. I would love it to not affect me, to be able to forget and move on but that's not the way I am. 

With regards to that maybe it's irrelevant but I've been curiously fascinated by Britain's Got Talent on ITV!! - because it's people striving to be the best they can be - and I like that.   Entertainment for us all maybe?  I've liked seeing people passioanate about what they do try their best.  However when stupid media take a very good concept and try to just make money by selling copy regardless of consequence real people get used and hurt.  If you don't understand then watch the two clips below in order (look at the natural outgoing behaviour - passionate, free, performance and the reaction of public and judges / hosts in the first vs the second clip) - you probably know enough if you follow the news to know the end result.  That's a horrible thing to happen to someone who just wants to try and be good at something.  If you laughed, shared a bit of gossip, ignored your own mediocrity etc, then shame on you - please think before opening mouth!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2xiAQCTy2E

28th March - Insomnia

My inability to sleep is a curious thing. I have been known to sleep like a baby in an armchair after a big meal! Occassionally I sleep unbroken all night, however the norm is very restless, waking frequently for long periods and averaging 2-4hrs a night.  I've always slept badly and the last 3-4 yrs it has become much worse on and off.  It's worst when I am deeply depressed, bad when stressed, somewhat improved by hard exercise (but not to the point it allows recovery from the training - shame) and surprisingly best when I've been really angry!!  It's 2 am as I write and to be frank this has not been a good sleeping week. I was pretty smashed coming back from warm weather a reminder that I'm not that fit and no longer able to work the hours I did a few years ago.  I was also stressed about various work things.

And yes I was / am depressed too, the initial improvement over the past few months has reached a bit of a plateau and the road to a better state is now a very long and slow one. To be honest things went a bit belly up the day before I left for spain.  It's unpleasant to recieve what could only be described as hate mail, a printed letter saying how people were looking forwards to Glasgow being a better place whilst I was away!  Not the best of days ensued but I did at least manage to not flip completely and place the offending item with the relevant people.  It did start a lot of negative thoughts in my mind unfortunately which is why depression has reared it's head a bit.  Add to that a break from consistent routine, extra workload, increased physical load and I wobbled a bit on my return home.  Apologies to those of you who had stuff delayed or saw me not at my best.  Mental state improved a lot when I went to see an audience with Graeme Obree on wednesday night.  Not a good start to the night when someone who not so long ago breached important trust to very bad effect was there and actig like a pal but these things happen.  Mr Obree was truly mind opening, hard to describe what he did or spoke about but everyone present in that room will have been affected and seen a remarkable individual. Like other elite world beaters I've met he's on a different level to most humans but what I enjoyed most was his non conformity - a real free thinker not constrained by history, culture or society.  We should all think like that a bit more and we'd all achieve a bit more.  His childlike enthusiasm at presenting his new "baby" reminded me of how I feel about my athletes when they are achieving their goals and I certainly identified with his passion for what he believes in. I'll probably never achieve the level of world changing thought or performance of Mr Obree but I will continue to try.  To know that folk like him (and so many of the worlds true innovators) suffer similar mental health problems to me is curiously comforting.  I wish him all the success for what he's planning and hope that I can have been present at the unveiling of something special.

Friday was mental health day - new treatment, new staff - so the whole history has to be gone through again.  It's still stressful to recount though a bit easier these days which I guess is good (takes a while though!).  Plenty of encouragement from the professionals on a variety of fronts - to keep talking and writing about my thoughts and emotions, to not hide mental health issues away, to keep working at what I am good at, to take time out for me and continue to stand up for my principles.   

22nd March - Home

So I've been home nearly 24 hrs, washing done, bike unpacked, quality time with a lovely person, homemade lasagne, coffee and sofa time - my phone is switched off as I write this and I'm not opening the email icon. 

Warm weather went generally very well.  Aguilas is such a good place to train - friendly, fast, warm swimming pool, cheap supermarket, cheap restraunts, wall to wall sunshine, low winds, stunning road surfaces, riding that you can enjoy with stunning scenery and also do structured training on.  Varied running, no pretentious folk wandering about, kindly locals and don't forget the sovereign republic of el cocon (those who understand this will know)!!  You know the cycling is good when you stumble across the mercedes test team trying to hide their new top end sports car range with black tape and accompanied by a multitude of test vehicles carrying video and measuring equipment.  Can't tell you much about the car other than it sounded sweet!!  Oh and I doubt it would have got down the scalextrix road as fast as the G man and David Ogg - nice riding gentlemen. 

Highlights - observing Keavy M getting better every single day - she's one tough girl and I love the attitude. Watching Mr Cox smack a brick session around off his base training - a real good job.  The easy street crew - hard as nails, funny banter, great support and the nicest folk you could meet.  If the world was ending I'd want Sian and co by my side.  Graeme Laycock getting stronger every day - ironman goals will be surpassed.  The gorman girls chewing me up on the bike - thanks ladies!!  Graeme Stewart - what can you say, over 1000 miles, over 250 watts.  Hours at secret special numbers!! 2:45 marathon running, 5000 unit training weeks - Roth will be rocked!!!  Sitting on his wheel at 48kph on the final day with 4 hrs on the clock knowing things are in place is what it's all about. 3 great guys from Ireland whose banter and attitude was fantastic.

Lowlights - my lack of fitness (getting there slowly though), cloud as we were leaving, not able to get enough stuff back home done, occassional glimpses of my bad head place - away from home can be really tough as I need my consistency.   

Maybe most important of all was the ability to sit on the beach as the sun went down knowing how far I have come in 7 months.  From the bottom where I had taken all I could and gave up to now is a long long way and I admit to shedding some tears as the sun went down - end of a chapter for me.  There is a long way to go, psychotherapy starts very soon and is not going to be fun.  Business is still on the edge - I have so much to do to make it work and need to keep the motivation going or the dream turns sour.  More later - I am chilling and need to take a walk to my favourite places and do some mental exercises. 

ONLY DEAD FISH GO WITH THE FLOW

26th February - Thanks

Maybe the black cloud is back??  I could not believe the phone call tuesday am - sorry sir but there's been a kitchen fire at the appartment you booked in spain, we have to cancel your booking!!  Oh joy!!  Allied to ongoing confusion in communication with the sports governing body I really wanted to cry. Then out of the blue a lovely message:

That makes it all worth while.  I am hanging on damn hard.  A herd of elephants could not loosen my grip!!!

23rd February - Climbing up and crashing down

So it's been a few weeks since last update.  The fruit thing finished with eating a lemon (daft I know)!!  Interesting few weeks, work has been pretty busy - I'm trying to find the time to catch up with personal clients to do 1-2-1 extra's with them - paying for a programme is one thing and works well as those who utilise this service know well.  Contact is what it's about, face to face so observation and feedback can happen, motivations and drive understood etc.  Meeting up with motivated people who care about things important to them is inspirational to me. 

The new club goes from strength to strength - people joining, session attendances growing steadily, new and familiar faces staying and coming back for more.  The range of abilities is especially pleasing - nice to see the slowest and the fastest (and plenty in between) coming along because of the quality, atmosphere and inclusiveness.  I'm aware that there are folk out there who brand me elitist but it's so far from the truth as those who attend sessions will know.  Everyone has their own personal challenges (none more so than me) and I'm happy to help whether it's losing 10kg, breaking 75 mins for 10k or going top 10 in the world.  All I ask is an open mind, willingness to be challenged and the drive to try and change stuff to get better (oh and preferably with a bit of banter along the way!!).

Weird few weeks personally, as I said three weeks ago I had been struggling with my head a little.  I'm not afraid to talk about having some issues with mental health and I'm getting more and more driven to help raise the profile and blow away the bullshit stigma's so many naive people throw around mindlessly without thought for the consequences.  Recently I put some cards on a table, tried to move onwards, but it seems that's not good enough for some so I got thrown a curveball on friday that hurt, badly.  I'm trying my damndest to accept my responsibilities for a mistake, others appear to not bother about accepting theirs. Fortunately my coping skills are getting better and I managed to get frustrated and angry (better than deeply depressed)!!

Unfortunately the downside was that I crashed - literally.  Saturday was ride with the guys day and it ended up me and Gordon D out for 5 hrs.  I knew I had frustrations to work off so made sure I was sticking with the G man and his watts all day, pushing on when I could.  It was a tough day for riding with wind and some showers blowing through but coming over dukes pass the sun was out, views were stunning, roads were good and dry, I was riding well and fired up.  Thought about a few of the bad things from the previous day going over the top of the climb and flew at the descent determined to push it hard.  Was going great until 2/3rds of the way down, really laying it into a pretty tight corner (40kmh+) the road turned wet halfway through the bend and I hit the deck hard.  Silly really.  My fault. Taking too much of a chance. I was pretty lucky and got off very lightly.  The car coming the other way was at least 5 secs away fortunately and the G man and car drivers picked me up.  Offered a lift home but I was mad as hell at myself and know how important it is to get straight back on.  Straightened up the bars and hoods, climbed back on and got down to the town.  G man was spot on it was coke and pain au chocolate time!!  Two hrs home was sore but after a few years of mental anguish physical pain frankly seems trivial to me and bar some little hip spasms if standing it had no affect on my riding or power output. 

I'll be more careful, will put trivial little things out of my mind, save the fired up stuff for the uphills (or sprints!!) and get on with what I'm good at.  And my new helmet will match the sexy new club kit that's only 5 weeks away. 

Big thanks to the G man, before my spill his chat was top draw, at the accident he was spot on, knew what to say and when to say it and generally did a good job of "keeping it real".  mon G3R, easy street is a good place to be me thinks!!

Big thanks to top girl Carol who did the brave medical job of scrubbing my road rash when I got home - that made my face look like I was eating a lemon again!! 

30th January

31 fruit in 31 days stands at  Apple, satsuma, banana, grapes, pear, tomato, clementine, pomegranate, bluberries, cherries, pineapple, kiwi, mango, melon, plum, passion, sharon, raspberries, strawberries, apricot, peach, dates, grapefruit (never again), lychee, nectarine, cranberries (sour :-(  ), figs, avocado, kumquat, olives tonight.  Stuck for tomorrow apart from looking at a lemon currently.

This week has been a little slow motion.  Last week was just crazy, possibly the most I have ever worked.  So this week I have been flat and struggling a little.  Maybe a useful reminder that I need time for myself and away from work / triathlon.  It's a lot less than 6 months since I was in a very, very dark place and not clever to forget how vulnerable we can be.  Thanks to Kay, Ian, Pam and Carol for their support. 

I have lost my passport - 4 hrs turning the house upside down with no success, guess I will have to look again then set the wheels in motion for replacement, as if there was not enough to do!!!

My sore achilles was starting to really niggle but 45 mins with superstar Lorraine got me back on my feet (even if I had to chew the couch a bit cos it was sore).  Big thanks Lorraine.

1st official week of Fusion Triathlon Club training - good numbers, 13-60yrs age range, 11-5min mile running ability, influx of novices alongside the return of familiar faces.  Very very rewarding to be involved in.  

24th January

31 fruit in 31 days stands at  Apple, satsuma, banana, grapes, pear, tomato, clementine, pomegranate, bluberries, cherries, pineapple, kiwi, mango, melon, plum, passion, sharon, raspberries, strawberries, apricot, peach (food should not be furry - yuck), dates, grapefruit (never again), lychee. 

Today saw an early start to ride with the guys, icy roads to start with but then some sun and cold heavy showers. 4.5hrs and I was a happy boy - riding surprisingly OK and enjoying the company of the guys.  They are going to rock IM Frankfurt that's for sure.

The club is go - affiliation forms in the post, memberships available soon. Kit is ordered too.

The most successful week of training so far, numbers that are beyond sustainable and growing,  - loads of enthusiastic people who want to improve, are committed to working towards it and know where the best help lies.  Makes me a very, very happy man.

Warm weather is just about full - not bad for no advertising me thinks. Participants from Glasgow, Ireland, Edinburgh, Dundee and beyond.

Junior stuff plans starting too, politics and funding to be done as is life but we'll be offering the best coaching in the country in a fun learning environment for all levels.  I will also be going into schools in less priveleged areas to provide opportunities.  Hopefully a suitable challenge and a refreshing change to the usual stuff - I certainly don't see anyone else doing that stuff and it's exciting.

Other stuff i can't talk about yet too.

Struggling to keep up with a few things but that's the best way to be.  Organised for the next few days though so staying on track.

12th JANUARY

Only 4 days since the last update but insomnia is here so a chance to write again.

12 days into the 7 in 10 challenge and it has stalled a little due to an excessive catch up last night with a close pal who is being made redundant.  Sometimes you have to realise what's important and forget a goal / plan that can be put back on track after a few days. 

31 fruit in 31 days stands at Apple, satsuma, banana, grapes, pear, tomato, clementine, pomegranate, bluberries, cherries, pineapple, kiwi!  Mango tomorrow then need to think hard!! 

Managed to run 3 times, ride twice and swim twice last week so that's great progress - was awesome to ride with the guys on saturday - a real motivator for me to get fitter and help them along their road to IM success.

Next 2 weeks are crazy busy with ordering kit, getting some workshops off the ground, finalising warm weather camps, setting up some new clients, a pile of lactate tests and chasing the incredible delayed powertaps - grrrrr.  Lots of programming too, a trip to lanark, a trip to edinburgh, 2 trips to Hamilton.  Finalising getting the new club off the ground.  I like being busy. Nice to know that I'm back up and running and things are going to be bigger, better, faster, more professional, and successful than before.

8th JANUARY

8 days into the 7 in 10 challenge and it's morphed into the 5.5 in 9 challenge so looking good!!  Sometimes I wonder where my mind goes - in the grocer's today (back to daily shopping in proper shops and avoiding "evilmarkets" wherever possible) it struck me that in the last 7 days I'd eaten apple, satsuma, banana, grapes, pear, tomato and clementines.  So I bought a bloody pomegranate then took frozen blueberries out the freezer when I got home - can I do 31 diff fruits in 31 January days??

More importantly the club meeting went very well, some smart people with nice ideas.  It's go and just 2 weeks till up and running.

The old school are back on board for coaching - good stuff, will be good for me physically, mentally, philosophically etc.  Really looking forwards to riding saturday, I've missed the banter. Hoping I don't have to suck too many wheels!!!

The to do list is growing and growing, but I like that - Other people are sticking irons into fires for me too!!!

Bedtime cos insomnia is less of a problem these days - I get 4 or 5 hrs most nights now.  

3rd JANUARY

So 2009 is here!!  Christmas and new year was a good time for me - 2 periods of a few days with no work, my brother and his family to stay (childcare is hard but fun when the kids are as good as those 2!), new year in Portobello with good people, a little (very slow) run on the promenade on new years day. Lots of reflection time and a few personal goals set.  I'm playing the 7 in 10 game,  working at the hundred push ups and starting to get fit for warm weather camps in March / beyond.  Still found time to sign up a couple of new clients and run a couple of lactate tests. So what's in store this year - easy answer is lots.  My efforts will remain on being the best coach that I can be.  Establishing a new forward thinking and progressive club is a large part of that and much is in full swing (updated kit design is on the frontpage and looks damn good if you ask me - who was it who laughed and said I had no artistic ability!!)  Camps, clients, testing, training DVD's, generic S+C, triathlon, swimming, running and cycling packages - the list is endless!! 

fusion was on BBC Radio Scotlands Sports weekly today as more stuff swings into action!! 

New years resolutions - I'm not a big fan but mine are recorded and in progress and include stuff for mental wellbeing, non triathlon activities, coach development and time out.

A TIME FOR THANKS: 

2008 was a weird year - my first elite world champion coached and the fastest Ironman by a Scot as sports highlights.  Mental illness rearing its ugly head once again in a big way. That I am still here and able to ramble / coach with the best is down to two things - firstly a bloody persistent drive and determination to be the best at what I decide to concentrate on.  Secondly the assistance of some remarkable people - I owe these true friends a lot, in some cases everything.  I want to publicly thank the following

Kay McWilliam - for everything

The McWilliam family - for being the nicest guys you could meet.

Jo Ellison - for patience, peroni and persistence

Ewan Mulhern - for support and maturity beyond his prematurely grey years

Peter Carr - for showing me what friendship and relaxation are all about

Ian Ramage - for his common sense and support

My brother James and his family - for too much to describe here

Mum + Dad - for sticking in there

Sian Tovey - for knowing what it's all about

May McDougall + family - for taking one to know one

Pam McLeod - for making me smile and hurting my head!

"Stacey" - for opening my eyes and making me realise things could be much worse

Jude Austin, Graeme Stewart, Graeme Cox, Phil C, Jo Frampton, Lucy milligan, Wendy Gorman, the nurses at broadford ward - Stobhill hospital psychiatric unit, Bryan Dawson, Lizzie and Darren H, Kim and Lorraine, all my clients who've stuck with me and continue to make great progress.  If I forgot anyone I'm really sorry.

23rd December

Saturday saw a night out for me (well afternoon, evening and night!!).  Lovely to catch up with what can only be described as some of the original and best.  A bunch of folk who know the meaning of hard work, continually put themselves in the arena, employ the KISS principle and say it how it is.  Life is easy with these folk around and they lighten my mood, encourage and inspire me to continue with what I do so well.  Pleasing to note how many of these folk are coming out the woodwork.

So it's nearly christmas.  Not usually my favourite time of year for a variety of reasons.  Not least the gross commercialisation exercise it has become.

This year though I have my older brother, his wife and my lovely niece and nephew staying.  A real joy to spend time with hard working people and pleasant, well mannered, well behaved, not spoiled kids.  I love Thomos and Elin, we have fun together, christmas eve we're making a gingerbread house and for some reason the guys think I am a legend!!  Personally I firmly believe that it's cos kids are far smarter and intuitive than they are given credit for and they are yet to have their heads filled with the perceptions and conformity concepts that stifle so many.  It's a great time to stimulate their imaginations and encourage them to be strong, free thinking and independent.  Ain't no football shirts or playstations in my house this christmas!!

IT'S GOING TO BE GOOD!! 

I'm also taking time off - 23rd to 28th then 30th till 3rd Jan!!  Why??  This is a change from the norm but recently I've been busy, a lot with new clients etc and a huge amount behind the scenes building for the future.  I've regularly dropped stuff and changed things around to go out of my way for others and to ensure the best possible service is delivered - that's why my clients are so successful - mutual commitment.  So I need a few days to relax, look after my niece and nephew, learn more about my new camera, mtb with some hardcore guys!! Reflect on the past year. Get in touch and spend time with special people, forget the silly little people and their closed books etc.

No Traditional Christmas dinner either - fish and various other things

My brother asked me what I will be toasting at the dinner table and it was a damn good question!!  After a little thought my answer was "to non-conformity and escape from mediocrity".

Merry Christmas everyone - take time to reflect, most of us reading this wil be the lucky ones and there are many worse off than us. Don't be restrained by the norms that are presented everywhere.  Think big and get out there in the real world to make a difference.

9th December

It's been a really busy 2 weeks since I last posted.  The first swim course went really well and the participants loved it.  Just a reinforcement to me that there is no substitute for proper quality coaching where individuals are treated as such and the services delivered go way beyond the programming that coach education teaches people.  

  9 powertaps ordered this week. Good to see so many people seeing the light and investing in stuff that makes them better athletes as opposed to bike bling.

  It's been session writing time - 144 individual swim sessions as follow ups to the swim course, loads of turbo sessions for folk after lactate tests, plus the usual weekly programming.  It's a little time consuming but I will not copy and paste for the sake of it to save time.  

  Christmas newsletter on the way - info on the new club, training weekends, racing and training kit, warm weather training and lots more.

  Training - mine has been low levels - just the run sessions and MTB here and there,  priority is business just now.

  Party - xmas / new year party coming soon.  All work and no play makes the coach a dull boy and the athletes boring and stale!!

26th NOV 08

POWERTAP - 20%+ DISCOUNT + REDUCED PRICE TESTING + COACHING

Looks like there is enough serious interest to secure at least a 20% discount.  I'm now an
affiliate of cyclepowermeters.com and if the order is placed through me I
will get a small commission which I will return to you guys in the form of
free consumables for a lactate threshold test making it half price at just
£30.00.   I'll also do a deal on a months worth of free coaching for those
who wish at a reduced rate and will try to organise a half days power
training workshop at some point also.

Training with power is easily the best piece of "kit" investment I have
ever seen if you know how to use and stick to some simple basics. Plenty
of people get 10% improvement in on the road power quickly and more
efficient riding style with fewer spikes of power and wasted time with no
power(good for fast tt splits and running off the bike in triathlon)

I want to place the order next week (4th Dec ideally) as this is when new
stock arrives in the UK so you need to make your minds up quick!!

Have a look at the website and see what you want from the multitude of
options available:

http://www.cyclepowermeters.com/cycleops---powertap-21-c.asp

I'll answer or get answers for any questions you may have. My advice below:
Meters range from hub units that you get built into a wheel to complete
systems.  To be honest the complete systems are much better vallue and are
very well built in my experience. (prices below are BEFORE discount)

Cheapest system is currently Powertap SL.  This is the older wired version
- it's a 640g hub, heavier than the newer sytstems and the wires on the
fitting kit wear out eventually if you move it from bike to bike a lot.
That said it was good enough for Kirsty to train and win worlds on last
year!!  And the numbers you get are basically exactly the same as the other systems.
Currently reduced to £696.00 (probably won't get as much as 20% discount
on this):
http://www.cyclepowermeters.com/powertap-sl-wheel-system-345-p.asp

Next up is powertap elite - 640g hub as above but wireless. (£825.00) possibly best
value for money system.
http://www.cyclepowermeters.com/powertap-elite-wheel-system-472-p.asp

Then there's the Pro+ which is lighter hub (466g) wireless and also tells
you the time spent in programmed power zones at £1,075.
http://www.cyclepowermeters.com/powertap-pro-wheel-system-475-p.asp

Top of range powertap SL+ which is lighter again (412g) at £1325 (£250 for a 54g weight saving :-) or you
can get a zipp disc with powertap built in at only 3.1 grand!!

Options for the number geeks out there to upgrade the head unit to a
garmin 705 so you have measurements of altitude, GPS system etc.  That's
about 100 quid extra (+ about 150g heavier!)

Even better is the SLC+ but that's only available as a hub set and it's
£1550 for that!!!

You'll need to also buy tyre and cassette as they are not included.

25th Nov 08

It's lactate time!! - i am getting pretty busy doing lactate tests for athletes just now - seems o be a greater level of enthusiasm for this sort of service than there was say 3-5 yrs ago.  Nice to see that maybe the culture of training is changing away from the head down, arse up, hard as you can, stumbling in the dark that I see so much of.  Time efficient training is where it's at and you can't do that without a decent measure of appropriate training stimulus, load and adaptation / progression.    Mind you I'm experiencing far too much lactate - every time I try to train - there is a long way to go!!!

24th Nov 08

The first weekend with Lanark Multi-Sport went very well - great numbers in the pool friday night and almost unbelieveable progress was made - a lot of smiles leaving the building.  Very cold but good run session on saturday morning - neural recruitment and elastic drills interspersed with flat aerobic running then some power strength recruitment drills with steep off road hill, off road recovery runs.  Good little bike group after that - 2hrs aerobic development focussing on riding even power / effort, cadence development drills and big gear seated aerobic strength work.  fusion-coach won the first sprint but the second went easily to the big man Mr Cardwell!!  Nice to see such a friendly hard working bunch that are open to hoonest feedback and new directions.

Lots of programmes to review and write today as first monday of new block.  Going to be a busy week with swim course coming up this weekend too.  Weather looking typically average so going to be another easy training week.